My table reminds me I’m welcome and wanted.

I’ve been drawn to my physical dining room table recently. This is a new and unusual spot as you can most often find me in comfy chairs with blankets and warmth. To be honest, the habit has formed without me really knowing. And surprisingly, the table has become a sacred place for me, a place where I need to be reminded I’m welcomed and wanted.

Like always for our family, the transition from Summer to Fall asks for new rhythms and goals and dreams. We become excited for what this year could mean as we set out with energy and passion.

For the better part of five years, I’ve been praying through a dream and asking for next steps and easy answers. And in Jesus-like-fashion, instead of answers, I was met with a challenge to meet with the Lord at the time of day I would be most productive. Let the wonder of Summer come into this new season, leaving room for slow and calm and linger. God was asking me to come to His table and sit with Him.

This was hard in the beginning being that this time slot fell between three and four in the afternoon when our little guy naps. It’s the first moment of the day I have to myself and it’s the first opportunity to get anything done around the house. However, after a week or so, I began to see God’s presence and small, but guided stirrings.

Every day is different, but every day there is a table and there is Jesus.

And there has been this beautiful image of Him sitting at my table reclined with a good drink in hand and without an agenda. He laughs more than worries and He is relaxed. I’m reminded that the table is not for lists or problem solving. The table is for receiving his company and His acceptance.

As I have continued to fight the impending dirty dishes, lesson planning, or showers that could be done every afternoon, I’ve watched the unexpected guest of healing have a seat with us. I guess that’s been the theme of this challenge. To see more of my ugly and broken as Jesus takes the band-aids off, lets the wounds breathe, and takes another sip of His wine. He’s not disgusted and He’s not in a rush to fix.

“God prepares a table for you. You come to that table with your enemies: your self-contempt, your addictions, your pious self-righteousness, your wounds, your sicknesses. He invites you, all of you, the whole of who you are and prepares a feast in the presence of your poverty. Then, what does this glorious host do? He anoints your head with oil and your cup overflows. You are being healed.”
Jennie Shoup, Waking Up Gray

My heart has needed this physical dining room table during nap times this Fall. I light the pumpkin candle, drink tea, and let myself sit. And the hope and deep prayer that remains in my achievement focused heart, is that as I dwell in the land and befriend faithfulness at His table, He would restore me and make Himself more important than my dreams.

Written by Janae Collins
Janae is wife to Kyle, mom to Logan. Read more from Janae on her blog.

 

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